dulce de leche

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Miso Banoffee Tart

HATE MAIL, GUYS. Am I right? You know those inconsiderate messages that crop up on occasion from people you’ve never met to tell you your photos are bad or your macaron recipe sucks? So invigorating, so inspiring – more enjoyable than an on-trend Sydney burger and a rare #craft #beer on a breezy Summer’s day.

Hahah jkz, I’m projecting, it’s uncomfortable and makes me sad. But after said sadness subsides those comments often make me laugh and thankfully I don’t encounter enough of them to break my gentle heart. This miso banoffee recipe was recently created for Visa AU to share across their social channels of 17 million fans which is both beautiful and horrifying – I was literally a sponsored tweet. With the acclaim of many likes and shares comes the occasional “looks disgusting lol” comment, sending me into a tailspin of offline self-reflection for a good 5 minutes. Spreading your wings on the internet and watching them burn is the plight of the content creator yet, like many, I continue to bless this mess that has become my internet home.

Moving forward (not backward, upwards not forward), let’s deconstruct this salted mashup. Inspired by a tremendous miso caramel shake from Milkbar by Cafe Ish in Redfern I replaced all salted notions with miso paste. So umami! So exotic. It even almost falls into the Donna Hay-esque cheat’s recipe category: store bought biscuits and caramel make this too easy. Miso makes it taste fancy and edible flowers make it look fancy. Smoke and mirrors, except it actually makes for a decent dessert. Once stacked let the whipped cream inspire you as a blank canvas just waiting for embellishment of whatever you see fit. Depending on the size of your tart ring this recipe may make a little too much – but if that’s the case you can create a deconstructed version by layering each element in a parfait glass with the leftovers.

I’m posting this a day after new year’s, so hurl your fleeting resolution of eating well out the window and get on this tart. Somebody in the comments announced they’d made it once and are making it again for friends shortly. Great internet success!

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Miso Banoffee Tart
400g digestive biscuits
200g butter
2x tins Top n’ Fill Caramel (or, 2 tins condensed milk turned into dulce de leche)
4-5 tsp white miso paste
6 bananas
400g thickened cream
1 small block of dark chocolate
Cocoa and edible flowers, to decorate

1. In a large bowl, melt the butter in a microwave. In a food processor, blitz the digestive biscuits until they’ve turned into crumbs. Pour the crumbs into the melted butter and stir until completely combined and resembles the texture of damp sand.

2. Grease a tart tin with canola spray or butter and gently press the biscuit and butter mixture into the tin to create the tart base. Put in the fridge for at least 30 minutes to firm up.

3. In another bowl combine the caramel and miso and whisk until smooth. You can adjust with as much or as little miso as you please – but it should be nice and salty as it will be balanced out with the fresh bananas and cream. Set aside. In a separate bowl whisk cream to soft peaks and also set aside.

4. Remove tart base from the fridge and gently ease it out of the tin. Place it on the platter or cake stand of your choosing and fill with caramel until it almost reaches the rim. Roughly chop bananas into thick slices (this should be done last minute so they don’t brown) and tumble them over the caramel. Gently add large spoonfuls of cream on top. Allow to set in the fridge for at least half an hour before serving.

5. To decorate, create chocolate shavings by running a sharp knife along the edge of the block of chocolate. Dust the tart with cocoa, then scatter with chocolate shavings and finally adorn your dessert with edible flowers. If it’s a little messy when slicing, don’t worry – just dust the plates with more cocoa and decoration.

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… aka Condensed Milk Madness aka Get Me Outta This Confectionary Nightmare aka WHIMSICAL SALVAGE MISSION 101.

Around a week ago I posted this image. You know, Homer’s struggling to make breakfast for Mr Burns and even his cereal catches alight. I believe this series of stills captures my experience from the get go. With our internet personnas often providing a snapshot of only the excellent successes in our lives it’s a good, nice and healthy thing to occasionally acknowledge some undeniable frustrations.

The Sweet Swap is an exploration of generosty and sharing with all registration costs heading straight to Child Fund Australia so to complain too much of my myriad of kitchen fails may be considered in bad taste, however, in times like these all you can do is laugh so here’s the CONDENSED (ha ha ha ha ha) version of my trials and tribulations. For those who don’t know each participant of The Sweet Swap is assigned three random bloggers to post a box of homemade-with-love treats to and, in return, three entirely random sweet care packages will arrive in the mail from three new friends. Community spirit, man.

Embracing notions of ~seasonal produce~ I made some quince caramels on a whim, possibly the best thing I’d ever tasted but I used a little too much butter and I grew concerned for their mail-worthy safety and thus were ditched (into my mouth hole). I then went out and, for my gluten intolerant friend, bought a buttload of fancy flours to bake some cookies; unfortunately twitter alerted me that baked treats were not allowed. So I then attempted to prepare two kinds of jelly (raspberry + elderflower) to create something like the Zumbo fried egg in his book. From pâte de fruit to bombing the mixture with gelatine… it wasn’t happening (evidence of ensuing insanity lies here). So, I swallowed my pride, my awful and entitled my pride, I conquered my biggest fear and turned to… to… Donna Hay for a simple recipe for fudge. One was to be a spicy chocolate the other a boozy white but despite using coverture white chocolate the entire mixture of my first batch errupted into an oily, buttery mess. The heck? I tweaked the recipe and was left with only chocolate fudge. Dulce de leche was prepared as an accompaniment as I’ve made it dozens of times, and, lo and behold, for the first time ever some water escaped into the bain marie making the final product lumpy and imperfect. OH MAN. But at least I got there in the end, albeit modestly.

Lesson learnt: if you haven’t the time to be entirely focused just don’t do thing because confectionary is a harsh mistress and she will make you suffer a disappointing sugar-laden kitchen death when your priorities currently and unfortunately lie elsewhere. But enough with the whinging! Admittedly I was so mad during the cooking (failing) process I barely took any photos so here are some snaps as I was packaging my extraordinary comedy-of-errors. Before that though, and more importantly, I should share my trio of tempered chocolate perfection I very graciously received; panna cotta lamingtons by Simon of The Heart of Food, home made Snickers by Phuoc of Phuoc’n Delicious and Mallow Rough from Chocolate Johnny. No words, guys. Way to make me feel like an epic kitchen amateur in mere mouthfuls. THANK YOU. #blessed

Now for my dinky treats en route to my three recipients Christine of Cooking Crusade, Gareth of Humble Crumble and Martine of Chomp Chomp. I attempted to save them the only way I knew how; cute jars, twine and a post office delivery on my twee-beyond-words bicycle (please forgive me for I have sinned). I’ve linked back to the original recipes but Donna Hay’s fudge recipe may have some butter issues so… maybe go with my directions instead. Furthermore the spices are just an indication as I didn’t measure very well, taste test as everything is melting ok! Here’s how to get kooky with a few tins of humble liquid gold.













Winter Chocolate Fudge
(original recipe by Donna Hay)
400g chocolate, chopped
1x can sweetened condensed milk
150g butter
2 tbs ground mustard seed
1 tbs chili flakes (+ extra for decoration)
2 tsp salt

1. Place the chocolate, condensed milk and spices in a saucepan over low heat and stir until the chocolate is melted. Add the butter and stir again until everything has completely melted. Taste test and add more spices accordingly. Keep on the heat for a couple more minutes then carefully pour the mixture into a lightly greased 16cm-square tin lined with non-stick baking paper. Smooth over with a palette knife, sprinkle with chili flakes and a little salt and refrigerate for 2 hours or until set. Remove fudge and cut into small squares and wrap each piece in non-stick baking paper.

Dulce de Leche
(original recipe by The Food Dept.)
2x cans condensed milk
A few pinches of salt (I used a combination of orange + fennel infused and the regular kind).

1. Preheat oven to 200°C. Pour sweetened condensed milk into a baking dish with salt and stir to combine.
2. Cover the baking dish tightly with foil and place into a larger baking dish to create a bain marie. Once the oven is ready place the dish in the oven and fill with warm water until almost full.
3. Bake for 1 3/4 hours or until the condensed milk is golden/brown in colour. You’ll need to top up the water in the bain marie every as it evaporates.
4. Remove from oven, (carefully) remove foil and whisk until the dulce de leche is smooth as heck and ready to devour. Store in airtight jars. Adorn with a little extra salt.

Thanks very much to Sara and Amanda for organising the entire project, mammoth effort ladies! I’m looking forward to clearing my schedule in preparation for next year to avoid further disasterchef moments.

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