Candy

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… aka Condensed Milk Madness aka Get Me Outta This Confectionary Nightmare aka WHIMSICAL SALVAGE MISSION 101.

Around a week ago I posted this image. You know, Homer’s struggling to make breakfast for Mr Burns and even his cereal catches alight. I believe this series of stills captures my experience from the get go. With our internet personnas often providing a snapshot of only the excellent successes in our lives it’s a good, nice and healthy thing to occasionally acknowledge some undeniable frustrations.

The Sweet Swap is an exploration of generosty and sharing with all registration costs heading straight to Child Fund Australia so to complain too much of my myriad of kitchen fails may be considered in bad taste, however, in times like these all you can do is laugh so here’s the CONDENSED (ha ha ha ha ha) version of my trials and tribulations. For those who don’t know each participant of The Sweet Swap is assigned three random bloggers to post a box of homemade-with-love treats to and, in return, three entirely random sweet care packages will arrive in the mail from three new friends. Community spirit, man.

Embracing notions of ~seasonal produce~ I made some quince caramels on a whim, possibly the best thing I’d ever tasted but I used a little too much butter and I grew concerned for their mail-worthy safety and thus were ditched (into my mouth hole). I then went out and, for my gluten intolerant friend, bought a buttload of fancy flours to bake some cookies; unfortunately twitter alerted me that baked treats were not allowed. So I then attempted to prepare two kinds of jelly (raspberry + elderflower) to create something like the Zumbo fried egg in his book. From pâte de fruit to bombing the mixture with gelatine… it wasn’t happening (evidence of ensuing insanity lies here). So, I swallowed my pride, my awful and entitled my pride, I conquered my biggest fear and turned to… to… Donna Hay for a simple recipe for fudge. One was to be a spicy chocolate the other a boozy white but despite using coverture white chocolate the entire mixture of my first batch errupted into an oily, buttery mess. The heck? I tweaked the recipe and was left with only chocolate fudge. Dulce de leche was prepared as an accompaniment as I’ve made it dozens of times, and, lo and behold, for the first time ever some water escaped into the bain marie making the final product lumpy and imperfect. OH MAN. But at least I got there in the end, albeit modestly.

Lesson learnt: if you haven’t the time to be entirely focused just don’t do thing because confectionary is a harsh mistress and she will make you suffer a disappointing sugar-laden kitchen death when your priorities currently and unfortunately lie elsewhere. But enough with the whinging! Admittedly I was so mad during the cooking (failing) process I barely took any photos so here are some snaps as I was packaging my extraordinary comedy-of-errors. Before that though, and more importantly, I should share my trio of tempered chocolate perfection I very graciously received; panna cotta lamingtons by Simon of The Heart of Food, home made Snickers by Phuoc of Phuoc’n Delicious and Mallow Rough from Chocolate Johnny. No words, guys. Way to make me feel like an epic kitchen amateur in mere mouthfuls. THANK YOU. #blessed

Now for my dinky treats en route to my three recipients Christine of Cooking Crusade, Gareth of Humble Crumble and Martine of Chomp Chomp. I attempted to save them the only way I knew how; cute jars, twine and a post office delivery on my twee-beyond-words bicycle (please forgive me for I have sinned). I’ve linked back to the original recipes but Donna Hay’s fudge recipe may have some butter issues so… maybe go with my directions instead. Furthermore the spices are just an indication as I didn’t measure very well, taste test as everything is melting ok! Here’s how to get kooky with a few tins of humble liquid gold.













Winter Chocolate Fudge
(original recipe by Donna Hay)
400g chocolate, chopped
1x can sweetened condensed milk
150g butter
2 tbs ground mustard seed
1 tbs chili flakes (+ extra for decoration)
2 tsp salt

1. Place the chocolate, condensed milk and spices in a saucepan over low heat and stir until the chocolate is melted. Add the butter and stir again until everything has completely melted. Taste test and add more spices accordingly. Keep on the heat for a couple more minutes then carefully pour the mixture into a lightly greased 16cm-square tin lined with non-stick baking paper. Smooth over with a palette knife, sprinkle with chili flakes and a little salt and refrigerate for 2 hours or until set. Remove fudge and cut into small squares and wrap each piece in non-stick baking paper.

Dulce de Leche
(original recipe by The Food Dept.)
2x cans condensed milk
A few pinches of salt (I used a combination of orange + fennel infused and the regular kind).

1. Preheat oven to 200°C. Pour sweetened condensed milk into a baking dish with salt and stir to combine.
2. Cover the baking dish tightly with foil and place into a larger baking dish to create a bain marie. Once the oven is ready place the dish in the oven and fill with warm water until almost full.
3. Bake for 1 3/4 hours or until the condensed milk is golden/brown in colour. You’ll need to top up the water in the bain marie every as it evaporates.
4. Remove from oven, (carefully) remove foil and whisk until the dulce de leche is smooth as heck and ready to devour. Store in airtight jars. Adorn with a little extra salt.

Thanks very much to Sara and Amanda for organising the entire project, mammoth effort ladies! I’m looking forward to clearing my schedule in preparation for next year to avoid further disasterchef moments.

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Cadbury Creme Egg + Solders

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! This is just a little update as unfortunately I’m snowed under with life at the moment, it’s a miracle I found the time to bust this out! The thought of missing out on my very first Easter post as a blogger was beginning to upset me a little. Having a food blog is an absolute JOY as it provides an outlet to make some ridiculous stuff. Combine with this with the only time of the year we’re able to indulge in the miraculous, the stupendous Cadbury Creme Egg, and, well, the photos speak for themselves really. And if they don’t I’ll spell it out for you: YOU WANT THIS. YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT TO EAT THIS.

Cadbury Creme Egg + Solders

This is obviously a spectacular sugar hit but not without purpose; the toffee brioche sticks provide incredible crunch when coupled with a mouthful of egg goo (gross). It’s just delightul. Or potentially diabetic, I’m not quite sure which yet. Probably both. This will serve four people so get ready, it’s time to get stupid with eggs!

Cadbury Creme Egg + Soldiers
4 Cadbury Creme Eggs
4 slices thick brioche or bread
1 tbs butter
1 cup sugar

1. Slice bread/brioche into strips. Heat the butter in a pan and fry strips until beginning to brown. Ensure you rotate the pieces so all sides are evenly charred. Remove from pan and allow to drain on paper towels. Clean pan, return to heat and melt 1/4 cup of sugar until beginning to caramelise. Add soldiers, remove from heat and rotate once more so all strips are evenly coated. Transfer to parchment paper to cool. Repeat with remaining “naked” soldiers.

2. Remove tops of Creme Eggs with a knife. Place in egg cup and arrange with brioche soldiers.

Cadbury Creme Egg + Soldiers

HAPPY EASTER and I hope you all have a safe and wonderful holiday!

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Spiced Banana Bread Stack with Pecan Brittle

You’ll have to forgive me, I’m not entirely sure what I’m blogging about.

Is it a loaf? Faux-pancakes? A funky little dessert plate fit for a café’s afternoon tea menu?

I really don’t know. But what I do know is that I can’t wait to sure my super moist spiced banana bread recipe with you! Although I give most store-bought banana breads the benefit of the doubt as to whether they use real bananas as opposed to artificial banana flavouring, too often I come across a slice that’s crazy doused in sugar. Now don’t get me wrong, sugar is my everything, however being a good (half) Cypriot girl I eat my bread and toast with honey and lots of it. So, in this recipe, I’ve substituted lashings of sugar for pinches of subtle spices. It’s not your average banana bread but who wants to eat average anyway? It’s a one-bowl recipe and dairy free too, so, shout outs to my pressed-for-time and lactose-intolerant bros.

Pecan Brittle

Oh yeah, then I made some pecan brittle and served it with a little marscarpone cream on my bread. I was styling this straight after eating lunch so I doubt I was in the correct mindframe to be dealing with this banana wonder. I’ve been spending a lot of time with my camera lately so I was probably desperate for a plate of tower-esque food to play with in Lightroom. Since I’m a little undecided on this you must, must let me know; does this stack look even remotely appetising? If not, it’s cool, ignore it and focus your attention on this nice loaf photo below. Okay? Okay. But do let me know please. Ahhhhhh.

Alana's One-Bowl Spiced Banana Bread

Alana’s One-Bowl Spiced Banana Bread
4 overripe bananas
2 cups flour
2 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp bi-carb / baking soda
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp ground cloves

Pecan Brittle
1/2 sugar
1/4 cup water
1/3 cup roughly chopped pecans

For the Banana Bread
1. Preheat oven to 180°C.
2. Unravel overripe bananas and mash in a bowl.
3. Combine all remaining ingredients and beat until just combined.
4. Grease a loaf tin and fold a piece of baking paper over the edges (this makes it much easier to remove later). Bake for 1 hour and 20 minutes.
5. Allow to cool in tin for 10 minutes then remove and place on wire rack. Serve with honey, pecans and a cup of tea, OR…

For the Pecan Brittle
1. Prepare baking paper on an oven tray.
2. Place sugar and water in a small pan over medium heat and allow to boil until it begins to turn a slight amber colour. Give it a quick swirl, remove from heat and stir through chopped pecans.
3. Working quickly, pour mixture over baking paper and allow to cool. Once hardened, smash into shards.

To serve
1. Slice banana bread and, if you like, lightly toast. Stack and serve with a spoonful of lightly whipped cream or marscarpone and a sprinkling of pecan brittle.

Alana's One-Bowl Spiced Banana Bread

And there you have it, my spiced banana bread served two ways! How fancy.

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Salted Spiced Beer Caramels

A few weeks ago I enthusiastically jumped aboard my beer-wife high-horse and purchased a dozen Brewdog There Is No Santa beers. In retrospect this was a little strange as traditionally I only revel in beers that taste overwhelmingly of fruit and unfortunately this purchase was no exception to my girly tastebuds; despite its charming notes of cinnamon and spice I could only bring myself to drink the one.

Salted Spiced Beer Caramels

However with my glass (stein?) half-full I chose not to see this as a frivolous purchase but as an opportunity to adapt this wonderful beer to the culinary world.

Salted Spiced Beer Caramels

Drawing inspiration from my Framboise Caramels I hoped to achieve a similar chewy and delicious beer-based morsel. With the addition of of some spice to heighten the essence of this micro-brewed Christmas beer you’ll have salty, sweet, buttery, bitter and spicy flavours partying all up and around your mouth. And isn’t this what flavoured caramel is all about?

Salted Spiced Beer Caramels

Shout outs to all fellow beer and candy fans. Oh, and to people who own candy thermometers, shout outs to you too. Seriously! Please don’t try this recipe without one; unless you are Lord of the Fluke the consistency of the caramel won’t turn out as nicely as you’d like so just don’t. Please? Ok good. I’m only harsh because I care. Mwa mwa! This recipe makes around 40 caramels, depending on the size.

 

Salted Spiced Beer Caramels

(an original recipe)

 

1x 330ml bottle spiced beer (I used Brewdog’s There Is No Santa)

2/3 cups cream

2 tbs sea salt flakes + more for garnish

1 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp ground ginger

1/4 tsp ground cloves

1 1/2 cups sugar

1/3 cups corn syrup / glucose

120g butter, cubed

 

1. Pour beer into small pan and simmer over medium heat until reduced to 1/3 cup. This should take around 20-25 minutes. Place in fridge (or freezer) to cool.

Salted Spiced Beer Caramels

2. Line a square tin with baking paper. Once your reduced beer has cooled combine with cream, salt, cinnamon, ground ginger and ground cloves. Stir well.

3. Combine sugar and corn syrup over low heat until dissolved. Increase heat until syrup has caramelised – 112°C on your candy thermometer. Do not stir during this process or the syrup will crystallise.

4. Remove from heat and slowly pour in your cream mixture, stirring quickly as you do so. Be careful has the concoction will try to splutter everywhere. Continue to stir to break up the caramel ball formed whilst adding the cubed butter. Don’t worry if you’re unable to dissolve everything.

5. Return to low heat and stir frequently until the temperature reaches 120°C on your candy thermometer.

6. Pour caramel into prepared tin and allow to cool slightly. Sprinkle with rock salt and allow to cool completely – either overnight on your kitchen bench or in the fridge to speed up the process. Cut into small squares and wrap with baking paper, twisting at the ends like traditional candies. Sprinkle with more rock salt if desired.

Salted Spiced Beer Caramels

BRB, MAKING AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE DENTIST (and possibly AA).

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Fancy beers and candy making. This new, almost-obsession of mine would not be possible without the influence of my boyfriend, the boutique beer connoisseur slash home-brewer, who has taught me there is life outside of gaging over Coronas.

This little experiment is testament to the cliché “if at first you don’t succeed; try, try, try again”. My first attempt tasted spectacular but didn’t set. My second attempt set however lacked that caramely-smack-in-the-mouth (is that even a thing? It is now). My third attempt, thank goodness, was wonderful!

The beer I’m using is a framboise; a lambic beer brewed with raspberries. Timmermans is a more syrupy beer than most which makes for a fantastic ingredient in this recipe (if you’re eager to enjoy one in its pure form however I would recommend a Lindemans Framboise for its tangy edge. Mmm).

Combined with caramels, you’ll get sweet, salty, tangy and berry all in one mouthful. Heavenly. And the best advice I can give before you begin this delicious journey into sticky bliss; follow the recipe to a tee! The figures are there for a reason. I’ve based my recipe from this spiced apple recipe as it allows room for variation. Bust out your candy thermometers, things are about to get messy.

 

HOME MADE SALTED FRAMBOISE CARAMELS

2 cups (or 1 bottle) Framboise beer

2/3 cups cream

1 tsp salt + more for garnish

1 1/2 cups sugar

1/4 cups corn syrup / glucose

80 g butter, cubed

powdered red food colouring

1. Pour framboise into small pan and simmer over medium heat until reduced to 1/3 cup. Place in fridge (or freezer) to cool.

2. Line a square tin with baking paper. Once your reduced framboise has cooled, combine with cream, salt and food colouring.

3. Combine sugar and corn syrup over low heat until dissolved. Increase heat until syrup has caramelised – 112°C on your candy thermometer. Do not stir during this process or the syrup will crystallise.

4. Remove from heat and slowly pour in your cream mixture, stirring quickly as you do so. Be careful has the concoction will splutter everywhere. Continue to stir to break up the caramel ball formed whilst adding the cubed butter. Don’t worry if you’re unable to dissolve everything.

5. Return to low heat and stir frequently until the temperature reaches 120°C on your candy thermometer.

6. Pour caramel into prepared tin and allow to cool slightly. Sprinkle with rock salt and allow to cool completely – either overnight on your kitchen bench or in the fridge to speed up the process. Cut into small squared and wrap with baking paper, twisting at the ends like traditional candies. Sprinkle with more rock salt if desired.


Being married into beer culture can be pretty neat sometimes.

 

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